Holding This Impossible Moment
Prayers and Support
-Please see Rabbi Kolby Morris-Dahary’s prayer called “Yesh Makom” published here on RitualWell:
Yesh Makom / May there be Space
-For those of you wanting to donate to Israel, we are currently fielding donations to https://www.jewishcolorado.org/donate/
-If you would like to join our chesed committee volunteer lists to help out with community needs in this difficult time, please email Paula Salky at paulasalky@gmail.com and she will update you with our community needs right now.
-If you would like to join our Har Mishpacha whatsapp group for conversation about Israel join via this link: https://chat.whatsapp.com/EbR8mNZMLizFx8uW49MxrA
Resources for Children & Families
Dear Families,
In light of the recent tragedy in Israel I wanted to share some guidelines to consider when discussing what is happening in Israel with children. These guidelines come from Dr. Sivan Zakai Ph.D. and Dr. Samantha Vinokor-Meinrath Ed.D. in partnership with the Jewish Education Project.
Don’t try to cover up your emotions because your children feel them anyway. It is okay to model how to be sad etc. and still go about your day.
For those with very young children who can talk but not yet read, it will be easier to keep the information shared child friendly.
For those of you with children who have transitioned from learning to read to reading to learn, they are more likely to be exposed to information from all sources including school mates, social media etc. You have the choice to either frame how your children are exposed to information or clean up what they hear out in the world.
For children who have access to social media it has been recommended that they take social media off their phones for the next few weeks so they are not exposed to graphic traumatic images. Traumatic images can not be unseen and can negatively affect your child’s psychological development. (see additional information below)
When children ask questions about the situation it is best to ask “What do you want to know?” and give them basic information. Do not assume that children need or want a history lesson on the Israeli/ Palestinian conflict. It is better to ask “What are you really asking me?” Often children are really asking about how it is possible that evil exists in the world or why bad things happen to good people.
When encountering these more existential questions it is a good idea to reflect “That is a great question. I don’t know the answer but we can sit and think about the answers together.”
For children who are questioning what this means for them personally since they are Jewish or are afraid for their own personal safety, it is helpful to assure them that you are doing everything in your power to keep them and their bodies safe.
Now is a good time to ask your children, “What do you want to do in this moment to bring light into a dark world?” and honor their agency when they come up with ideas to answer that question.
Lastly, be careful not to make over generalizations about groups of people. Most human beings want their children to grow up and live with peace, safety, and justice. Emphasizing the desire for peace is important in these challenging time.
Here is a link to an article by Dr. Sivan Zakai on how to have age appropriate conversations with your children about what is happening in Israel. https://www.kveller.com/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-whats-happening-in-israel-right-now/
Please feel free to reach out to me (Sari Davidson sarijoyd@gmail.com) if you need more guidance on how to have these difficult conversations with your children.
If you haven’t already, please see this message from Steamboat Springs School Board member Alissa Merage about online safety during the crisis: We are TRULY concerned about the kids in the community being exposed to the violent and damaging videos and photos being targeted at kids on social media platforms. Our Israel and Jewish Community connections have sent many warnings that Hamas intends to send even more graphic and violent messages targeted to teenagers in the coming weeks, in response to the hostage situation. I’m not sure if you have seen any of them, but they are grotesque and barbaric. Terrifying and scarring to adults, let alone children, and they are real. Unfortunately, many kids we know are seeing and they aren’t images you can ever erase in your mind. Picture the Vietnam war or the Holocaust being televised live for everyone to see. We owe it to our kids (and ourselves) to send a warning as many families may not be aware this is happening.
Thank you,
Sari Davidson, Har Mishpacha Religious School Director